Aug 3, 2017

Releasing and Refilling

They say when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. For those not familiar with this saying, it pretty much notes the strength in turning any bad situation into a good one. What the old folks screaming this saying don't tell you is that to embody this mindset you have to ache and be uncomfortable for a while before being able to reap the rewards. I think that the saying should definitely come with a disclaimer of sort.

Anyway, since the beginning of 2016 I have been trying my hardest to live my life by this saying everyday. I have been trying to see the positive in every situation/ experience that comes my way but it is damn hard. Being 21 feels like being trapped in a cave/ tunnel and walking toward what you think is an exit where there is light, to only find a candle sitting on the floor and you still surrounded by the cave. You feel like you've found a way out, you feel like you've accomplished a great goal, but you still have a long way to go before you get to that light at the end of the tunnel. I guess this is what comes with "adulting".

So since we can't escape these negative and draining situations/ experiences, we have to find ways to keep our spirits high as we go through them.

I've found that affirmations/ mantras are the easiest and most revitalizing way for me to get through any uncomfortable situation/ experience and thoughts. Your affirmations can be anything you feel in your heart. I like to turn the things working against me into my affirmations which again goes back to the saying "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade". There is power in affirming statements. You manifest things, people, experiences, goals, etc into your reality through your thoughts subconsciously. By saying affirmations out loud, you are literally speaking to your subconscious mind and it is listening and taking in all of this information in order to move you through life in such a way so that you can receive the things you need and desire most.

My affirmation from above came to me in the wake of me realizing that a new month has sprung. I automatically began to think about all the things I have yet to accomplish and the fact that this year is more than half way over. I began to sink into bad self-talk and feelings of unworthiness. Thankfully, I snapped out of it after realizing that every moment counts and that it is never too late to go after what you want most and to stand in your life's purpose. Instead of allowing my thoughts to get the best of me, I silenced all the negativity and decided to take hold of it and change it to something positive.

Affirmations are a great tool to start, but they are not the only key to a purposeful and joyful life. Actions will always speak louder than words. If your actions do not match up with your affirming statements and mantras, you are confusing not only yourself, but also the Universe and your subconscious mind.

Your reality will not change unless you do.

My words of advice to you:
Begin looking within and listening to your inner guide as it will never steer you wrong. Once you have a clearer idea of what you must change/ release. Begin the journey to healing through affirming statements and actions that match.

Sending you love.


Jan 30, 2017

I'm Not Giving Up On Black Love

I had a weird conversation with my mother and sister the other day about black love. My sister and I were quick to say that we want black love and that we only see ourselves with black men. While my mother, who has years of dating experience, objected and said "I've been trying to find black love for years and still no luck." My guess is that many black women feel this way about black love. It is hard to find. Which brings me to the question of whether or not black love is still alive today. We rarely see genuine black love portrayed on the big screens and God knows the media loves slamming a dirty breakup among black couples across every outlet possible. And that saddens me because I believe that black love matters and that black love does exist. And I say this despite my own experiences in relationships with black men. Now I am still very young and have a lot more to experience and learn but my opinion matters and should be heard. I might persuade you to stick it out for a while.

So with all that being said, let me share my recent experience with black love which helped me come to the conclusion that black love is for me. 

I met someone online via a mutual friend and decided to give a long distance relationship a shot. Almost instantly we fell in love (or so we thought). So being on cloud love I decided to fly 3,000 miles away, despite my mother's wishes, to a place I knew nothing about to visit/be with the man I loved. I just knew he was the one and that we would build a beautiful life together so I sacrificed everything even my own safety (which I would not advise anyone to do) to met him. Now, our first in person encounter was not perfect and I had my doubts throughout our relationship but given the fact that I had never experienced love before I figured the doubts and imperfections/uneasiness was normal-- just first time jitters so to speak. After all I never felt this way about anyone before. 

Fast forward just a few months after my visit, the relationship ended which was fine except it ended abruptly and down right wrong. This man didn't even have the balls to tell me he was no longer interested. The balls to tell me it was officially "over". We were having trouble but in my eyes we were going to work things out because that's what you do when you are in love and hitting a rough patch. Well, he thought differently. Instead of being a man and communicating with me he, like most black men I have come across decided to ignore my calls and pretend as if I did not exist. So here I am, yet again left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and crushed soul (can anyone else attest to this story line, raise your hand). 

But still with all that being said, I'm not giving up on black love and this experience is actually the reason why I decided not to give up. This experience showed me just how much black men need black love. This experience showed me just how important it is to show ignorant black men how black women should be treated, valued and respected. Black woman are admired by many and also disrespected by many. They want what we have and take what we have without giving us the credit or appreciation for it. Needless to so, black men are treated the same. They are often ridiculed and objectified (again, like black women) for just simply being black, strong and godly. 

Black men know me. They know my struggle. They know my everyday battles like the back of their hand because their mothers and sisters and grandmothers went through/ are going through the same. They know us but they may not know themselves. They know us but they sometimes lack the love for themselves and brother if you don't love yourself you will never be able to love the reflection of you that is the black woman. This is why I am not giving up on black love. Despite my heartbreak. Despite being mistreated by so many black men. Despite all of that, I know that black love is real and can be a cure for all of our pain. I know that black love is amazing and that I as well as my future black partner, deserve it.

-patience tamarra

Jan 27, 2017

Queen Headwrap Tutorial

Hi loves! It has been a while, how are you guys? I hope all is well and if not, I hope things will look up for you soon. With hopes to brighten your day, I have an easy and super cute headwrap tutorial to share with you.

Today was a terrible hair day for me and we all know that bad hair days mean a bad mood which therefore leads to an overall bad day.

I know most people think that short hair and bad hair days never go together but that's false. My hair was dry, frizzy and just simply not cooperating with me today. Usually I would just wash my hair on days like today but to be honest, I just didn't feel like it. So when all things fail, headwraps will always have my back. They are a tried and true "remedy" for bad hair.

This particular headwrap was inspired by one of my Instagram crushes, Priscilla Amado. Her style is so unique and authentic and her hair is just as amazing. Often times I see her rocking these super big headwraps and always thought that I couldn't accomplish the look because of my super short hair. Well I am happy to say that I thought wrong. I was able to accomplish the look and make it my own with my super short hair.

If you are like me and have shorter hair, you may often struggle with accomplishing cute headwrap and turban styles. I have found that this is because of the fact that the scarf does not have much to work with, therefore it is hard to shape. What made this look easy to accomplish was the use of 2 scarves instead of 1. I used 1 small size scarf and 1 large/extra large scarf-- one on top of the other. The small scarf was used as a foundation for the look which made it easy to wrap the larger scarf around my head with length and a little bulkiness.

To get more details on exactly how I accomplished this quick and easy look, click the link below!


Jan 16, 2017

Dear MLK,

Born January 15th in 1929. You would be 88 years old today. And I am sure you would still look and feel great because "black don't crack". But in all seriousness this day, which was originally known as a day of service is dedicated to you and your legacy. This day is celebratory because without your very existence the black community would not have a place in this country. With this day comes remembrance of your entire legacy and the fight for freedom that still remains relevant today.

The past few years have been hard. Damn hard. Especially for the black community. We've seen our brothers and sisters get slaughtered on video by police. We've seen racist remarks and behavior on national television during the Presidential Election. We (and I say that very loosely) have now elected a racist, corrupt man as our President and God only knows what is to come of that once Friday passes. What I am trying to say is, that a lot has changed since your time but the same battles are still being fought just in a different manner.  We are still trying to be silenced and we are still trying to be told that our fight doesn't matter. That All Lives Matter so Black Lives don't or so there is no need to have an organization fighting for Black Lives. We are all tired just as you were sitting in those jail cells feeling defeated. We are all disappointed just as you were when our people turned to violence despite your cry for peace. We are lost and that is something that we look to you for guidance. Which is why today is a day of reflecting, of remembering, of learning and of perseverance.
You taught us that our black is beautiful despite what the outside sources say. You taught us that we matter despite what the outside sources say. You taught us what it means to be a true leader in our community and how we all can embody leadership characteristics to continue lighting the torch of freedom for our people. Because if we don't, who will? 

Outside of all your greatness as an activist and religious leader, you were a family man who taught us that black families are important and although they are not perfect, they are needed. A unity and bond that cannot be broken in the home is the strong foundation we need to build community. For when we understand what our love is, we understand how to use that love to let our brothers and sisters in our neighborhoods and schools know that they matter to us if not anyone else. 
What I am trying to say is that we love you for simply being you. For fighting for our rights and our future. For being fearless. For being brave and bold. For going against the odds and standing tall in your beliefs. For being someone we look up to and someone we will always learn from. For being a family man. For being a father to all of us. 

I thank you and every other activist, fighter, leader who came before you and after you everyday of my life not just today. But today, I wanted to tell you personally. So thank you.

With Love,

Jan 7, 2017

2017 Life Update on YouTube

Hi beautiful friends. In case you don't live on the East Coast, we are currently having a nice relaxing snow day! Needless to say, I have been super productive today. I filmed my first YouTube video of the year and unintentionally edited it all in the same day. With that being said, I now have a new chit-chat/life update video on my channel that I would love all of you to watch. The video is a great way for us to reconnect/connect with one another. It is my way of extending my hand and leading you through a new journey that is sure to change your life for the better. 

Please watch, like and comment on the video if you are curious about the new changes that I have coming for the new year and subscribe to my channel to follow along with the journey. 

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